Mortgage Pirate provides cheap mortgage rates with a variety of types of loans.

Home Equity Loan

A home equity loan tale so terrible you'll sell yer home today and live 'neath a reef.

Home Equity Loan - How I Gots Me Hook

Aye, ye takes a good hard look here at me right hand - don't see naught but a hook, do ya! That hand o' mine be lost somewheres in teh gut of a great and powerful fish - three meters long with blood in her eyes and a taste fer the human flesh she had, and the only reason she found me out in the sea was fer the home equity loan I was graspin.

So happy with a home equity loan!

My plight began right after I boughts me first home. It was winter! The birds sang low in teh trees and home appreciation rates were skyrocketing. I needed to fix up me old rowboat so i took out a home equity loan shortly after takin' on me first mortgage. I wasn't quite ysed to the monthly payments yet, but I hads an adjustable rate and I thoughts I could afford more. And I was right, I kept up those two monthly payments no problem - for a while. But i hit a dry spell - no plunder, no pillagin' - and the initial fixed-rate term on both my first mortgage and my home equity loan expired I was already strugglin' to make ends meet. Suddenly the camels back wasn't just broken, but split completely into two.

Flailing listlessly in a dark sea

Now I had two costly financial burdens on my hand and couldn't handle neither of 'em. So I sells me home, pays off me first mortgage lender - but I still had me home equity loan to reckon with! So I ran fer it, i ran aboard the Fiscal Revenge, leaving behind my new row boat that I bought with my home equity loan in the first place, and set off into the high, anonymous seas. I ran so fast and sailed so far and worked me scurrvy-ridden whelps to the bone, but no matter what I did I couldn't escape my home equity loan debt - it followed me everywhere!

How the beast bit off me hand

Finally I hads enough - enough of bad credit and enough or collectoin agencies and enough denials for my much needed financial aid that I walked out on me bowsprit and called out into the great dark seas " Here! Here is all I have left to give you fer yer blasted home equity loan! Me! Me an' me hard workin' hands! Take me! Take what you need and leave!" Then up outrs of nowhere leaps this enormous she-squid with a beak the size of a coconut tree, and on her gigantic fin is painted the mark o' me lender, and the squid bit off my right hand!

Ye may not be on the high seas, an' yer lender be havin' no need fer body parts as repayment - so if ye needs a home equity loan that ye can't afford, take the pirate's advice and find another option. Fer teh sake of yer limbs, an' fer teh digested memory of me hand.