http://www.mortgagepirate.com/mortgages/n4.html Bad credit mortgages be makin' waves the size of Atlantis, tear the roots from the trees and me heart from me very own soul! But use 'em, you can weather their hellish storms! en-us Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EDT Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EDT Weblog Editor 2.0 This be a listin' of all the organs and bodily appendages I'm injurin' in me search for low rates fer me bad credit mortgages, and may ye gods have mercy upon me parts both lost and still workin' fer the Pirate. Aye: Me eyes, to the devil's own wet nurse ( and pilferin' wretch of a home mortgage lender), Tree. Tree be winnin' me eyes in a game 'o Twinks, an I just didn't see it commin' and haven't seen nuthin' since. Me gut, in negotiations with another mortgage lender, a scallywag born the very pit 'o Lucifer's bordello. I got a wee temper, see? An' I had to chew her off from me insides out to keep the bullets from flyin' from me very own pistol. But I got's a new one, made of titanium alloy, from a woman in Dallas I met in a portside chat room. A bonny lass, even without her food pit. And she took me check, Lord bless her and bury her deep. Me left hand. This be a chucklesome tale about yours truly sailing round the Straights of Magellan with a crew of savages. The winds were a howlin' faster than Lickety Split, and the air was colder than a witches warm...ye be gittin me drift, but suffice to say I was lookin' fer bad credit loans in the wrong place at the wrong time, and it cost me dearly. Playin' me fife simply hasn't been the same since loosin' old Lefty, it it won't be none th merrier fer the likes of you if you be looking' fer bad credit mortgages where ye shouldn't. Look and be damned fer bad credit mortgages Gadzooks! We be adherin' to the Pirate's code here on the cyberseas, an' ye best listen good to whats I have to be sayin' lest ye an' yer crew wants to walk me plank into the darkest depths of the briny debt deep! D'arrgg! Code number one when yer lookin' bad credit mortgages is ye best not be looking fer the lowest interest rates. Ye been warned! And ye be a cuckold to boot if ye thinks with bad credit ye can get the low rates, matey. Only once have mine lost eyes seen the likes of low rate bad credit mortgages: twas somewheres past the Horn, the skies were red and the seas were a-boilin' with some nasty devilry. I looks to port and sees a long-finned whale about thirty hands - no less - from fin to fang. An inside its great jaws I sees a bad credit mortgage with the fairest interest rates in all the big blue. then she dove, and i've yet to see the likes of it since, and neither will ye lest ye goes lookin fer whale. Aye. But that ain't to say I ain't seen no bad credit mortgages work out fer the right kind 'o pirate. It be takin' a bit more to make them mortgage loans work out - and what with me lost eyes and hand and not a stomach to swaller - hard work be somethin' I lost to the deep. But it can be done, all ye need is the guts, and the drive to scuttle yer financial ships as they come. What I means is, yer bad credit mortgages are gonna cost ya, and ye best be ready to be makin' some sacrifice to afford an investment like a bad credit mortgage. Take yer drink. The Drink be costin' yeh three pieces of eight when you lands fer a night on the Isle of Fire. Add that to yer pile 'o hay in the corner, to yer plate o' land shark made fresh in a stew, to the wenches and manfolk and merfolk and dogfolk ye be payin' ter keeps you company in the cold, and yer night on the Isle costs you more pieces that I cares to fathom. Yer lesson? If yer serious about bad credit mortgages, no more nights out on the Isle o' Fire! No more silver platein' yer tooth nor buyin' no rubies fer yer cutlass nor births aboard Blackbreard's fancy-dancy Revenge - no more! Avast, an' prepare to meet the poor house when ye takes out bad credit mortgages! the seas will rock yee and shivver yer timbeers, The storms will drop ye to the decks and make you puke an wishin' fer sunshine or doomsday, which ever comes first! But in the end, when ye stands up and takes in yer home, the tear in yer eye'll glisten like the the moon herself, and you'll be thanking the Mortgage Pirate fer the advice. Sat, 26 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EDT